Reading The Summer Before the Dark by Doris Lessing. I'm only at the beginning and I will probably read the book, but it's just too much introspection for me right now. Maybe I'm not at the stage of life where I feel like I need to take a close look at my life. I'm too happy right now with my new horsie to worry about stuff like that. Anyway, I have never been horrified, as this woman seems to be, that I went from a young girl to and older woman. wtf. I can't wait to retire and really start enjoying myself. No such thing as boredom unless you have no brains. I can be perfectly content with mrh and cats and horses. Miss kids very much but the rest of the family just fades out sometimes. We have been apart for so long. I always wished to live near my sisters but it wasn't to be.
Retire- I want to ride, cook, sort out things in my house, go back to making scrap books, spend time with kids and Milo (my baby), generally mess around every day without any pressure to go to a job that is way boring at this point. The same old questions. Jump from one thing to another all day long. No thanks. Sick of the people and the relationships and being nice to everyone. Sick of dressing up and spending money on clothes.
Get to do horses tomorrow and then go on Sunday and ride Sevo or just hang out with him.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Frustration; Fear; Happiness
Frustrated with my job- taking it minute by minute.
Fear that sisters are at war in my parents house and the toll it is taking on everyone.
Shining thru it all, utter happiness that I have my lease horse. Bareback lesson on him last night. First time he has been ridden bareback and he was in a hackamore. So much to say and no time to say it in.
First, he is 14 years old but has NO training at all. Doesn't even know how to walk on a lead rope. The interesting thing is that my RI (riding instructor) has been teaching me basic basic aids that she says any horse can understand. She is being proved right. It's one thing to do these things on one of her horses that she has trained and had for years. But last night, I did a couple of basic things on this totally untrained horse, and he responded perfectly. For instance to stop: do nothing with the reins, just stop my seat following the horse's movement and stretch up tall (sitting up straight as well) and the horse comes to a perfect stop. Turn 180 degrees: look around to the spot you want to go and the horse goes there. omg.
He doesn't want to have a bath so on Saturday, RI is going to show us how to teach him to have a bath. We are going to teach him to lead. He is so sweet and learns very fast and is eager to do the right thing once he understands.
I just feel happy thru and thru under everything else. A little secret thing that I can trot (hehe) out anytime and be happy about.
Fear that sisters are at war in my parents house and the toll it is taking on everyone.
Shining thru it all, utter happiness that I have my lease horse. Bareback lesson on him last night. First time he has been ridden bareback and he was in a hackamore. So much to say and no time to say it in.
First, he is 14 years old but has NO training at all. Doesn't even know how to walk on a lead rope. The interesting thing is that my RI (riding instructor) has been teaching me basic basic aids that she says any horse can understand. She is being proved right. It's one thing to do these things on one of her horses that she has trained and had for years. But last night, I did a couple of basic things on this totally untrained horse, and he responded perfectly. For instance to stop: do nothing with the reins, just stop my seat following the horse's movement and stretch up tall (sitting up straight as well) and the horse comes to a perfect stop. Turn 180 degrees: look around to the spot you want to go and the horse goes there. omg.
He doesn't want to have a bath so on Saturday, RI is going to show us how to teach him to have a bath. We are going to teach him to lead. He is so sweet and learns very fast and is eager to do the right thing once he understands.
I just feel happy thru and thru under everything else. A little secret thing that I can trot (hehe) out anytime and be happy about.
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